Monday, August 3, 2015

Life of a Wife: Maz Halliday

Life of a a Wife - insights on being a wife from a wife || www.teawithmrsbee.com


Okay so it's officially August and we're on our way to Christmas. Time is flying and so much is happening in our lives that I'm losing track of days! So I apologise for my little blog's silence - even though I did apologise a while ago as well. Crazy, crazy!

Anyway, I'm back with a little Life of a Wife post and this time I quizzed Maz Halliday from Caffeine and Fairydust. She's such an awesome person and blogger, and I have had her featured on my blog before, you can read her thoughts on blogging here. Maz is amazing, and I love the way she looks at the world - with complete honesty and adventure! And her kids are pretty damn cute too!

You find Caffeine and Fairydust on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Bloglovin and Pinterest. So, without further ado, the Life of a Wife with Maz!

Life of a a Wife - insights on being a wife from a wife || www.teawithmrsbee.com


1) Tell us a bit about yourself; who are you, how old are you, who are you married to and for how long, do you have kids and what do you and hubby do for a living?
I will be turning 26-years old in August, but I think I will stay 25 for the rest of my life. I am a Fashion Designer by day and at night (when I am not changing  diapers or reading bedtime stories), you will find me typing away for my little Parenting and Lifestyle Blog, Caffeine And FairydustCole does something that has to do with big industrial printing thingies, and in his spare time he builds skateparks. Together we have two amazingly gorgeous kids - Mikayla Rose is 4-years old, and our little dude Knox is 7-months old. Cole and I have been together for 6-years and have been married for 4... he is the great love of my life and most importantly, my absolute best friend. 

2) Did you live together before getting married, and how do you think living together/not living together affected your life and marriage today?

Cole and I had a bit of a whirlwind romance. We moved in together after dating for only 3-months and got engaged after only 6-months! Probably not advisable, but it worked out great for us. I think it prepared us for a lifetime together, and we had so much fun. I think we needed that time alone, to be selfish and to do what we wanted together. 

Life of a a Wife - insights on being a wife from a wife || www.teawithmrsbee.com


3) What was the hardest thing about being married in the beginning?

Personally, I did not find it hard at all. It kind of just felt the same... The couple of months leading up to the wedding however, was quite a challenge. I was so stressed out, he was stressed out, family was stressing us out - and we had a newborn baby to top it all off! But we made it through, it made us stronger as a couple and as a team.

4) What's something that's completely surprised you about marriage?

To be honest? That it has not gotten boring yet! I know that sounds terrible, but you'd think you'd be bored out of your mind after the first two years or so. I still get butterflies in my tummy every time I see my husband after a long day, he still makes me laugh, I miss him when he is away and I can't sleep in a bed without him. I love how he makes me feel, every day.

5) If you have/will have kids, how do you think this changed/will change the dynamic of your marriage?

It is a massive change... it is not something you can ever prepare yourself for. The reason I say that? You have this whole idea of the kind of parent you are going to be, but once you actually become a mother or father - this natural parent that has been lurking in the shadows of your being kicks in and you almost become a new person. Cole and I had to rediscover each other when we became parents, we needed to compromise, to stop being selfish, we needed to plan our future and we needed to be the people we wanted our children to become. We are pretty much growing up with our kids, and I love every single second of it... even the bad times. One thing I can tell you... I always loved my husband, but the day I saw him holding and looking at our daughter for the first time - I loved him more than I could ever put into words. We used to be so laid back, we still are.... well, Cole is. I am like a drill sergeant! Schedules, lists, you name it. I always thought I would be the softy and Cole would be the disciplinarian - it did not quite work out that way! At least I get to be the boss ;)

Life of a a Wife - insights on being a wife from a wife || www.teawithmrsbee.com


6) How do you and hubby keep the spark alive?

I think it is the little things... the way he looks at me, holding hands, unexpected kisses, laughing together. Also, we always make an effort for each other, whether it is running errands or cheering each other up on a bad day. Also, great sex. Sorry for the overshare, but it is true.

7) What, in your opinion, are the three key essentials for a great marriage?

I am not going to say trust, respect, and love - without these basics, a relationship should never get to the point of marriage. For me, it is:
1. Appreciation
2. Communication
3. Intimacy

Life of a a Wife - insights on being a wife from a wife || www.teawithmrsbee.com


8) What's the best piece of advice you got for marriage? 

Don't try and turn your husband or wife into you. Don't try to change them... 

As humans, we seem to have a natural tendency to think that everyone should see things the way we do. We are amazed when someone disagrees with us. We do this the most with the person we marry. When you try change the person you marry you just end up coming across as a nag and end up sending the message that "who you are is not enough". No-one likes getting that message. It just leads to distance and loneliness... Let your husband or wife be who they are and rather focus on changing your self if need be. 

9) What is your personal advice for newly married couples or couples who are about to get married?

"In wise love, each divines the high secret self of the other and, refusing to believe in the mere daily self, creates a mirror where the lover or the beloved sees an image to copy in daily life."

Simply put: If you’re smart about it, you’ll rise above the inevitable setbacks and stresses of a shared life, and you will make it your lasting mission to bring out the absolute best in your spouse.
1. The best way to strengthen a marriage is to support and assist each other in being the best you can possibly be. A strong marriage is one in which both people understand that the other person needs to have outside interests and activities which help them to feel happy and fulfilled. A strong marriage is one where both people understand that it is more important to be happy than it is to be right. If you see marriage as the end of you or your spouse's freedom, you are probably doing it wrong.
2. You can have control or you can have connection with your partner, but you can't have both.
3. On those ever-important date nights, remember to be a wife first and a critic second.Every time you open your mouth to complain or nag about something — whether it's the food, the service, the movie, the weather, whatever — some part of your partner feels he's failing because you are not having a great time. Men are happiest when they can please their woman! Save the full critique for your girlfriends and in meantime, let him see the best in you.
Lastly, for those who are about to get married - keep in mind that there is a lifetime after the wedding. Don't get married just because you want a big party, a diamond ring and a beautiful white dress. I see this happen quite often, and it never lasts.
Thank you so much, Maz for being part of this post! It's been a while since I've done a Life of a Wife post and these insights were very insightful! 
If you'd like to be part of the Life of a Wife series, please feel free to contact me at amy.francis777@yahoo.com!
Have a great week!

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