Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Life of a Wife: Roxy Hutton

This week's Life of a Wife episode comes all the way from South Korea and I'm so excited to feature her because I'm being featured on her blog for the same series, with a different name, in the very near future! :) I'm also excited to have Roxy part of this series because I feel like so often, the ladies doing these kinds of series don't have the chance to put their views across - we're so busy asking the questions that we don't get asked ourselves. So I'm really excited to give Roxy the chance to be asked! :)

Roxy Hutton blogs at CityGirlSearching and you can also find her on various social media platforms like FacebookTwitterInstagramPinterest and her very own stationery shop :) Her stationery shop really has the cutest stationery items and it's super easy to use and pay with PayPal! Seriously, go check it out! :)

So without further ado, I leave you with Roxy Hutton's pearls of wisdom!

1) Tell us a bit about yourself; who are you, how old are you, who are you married to and for how long, do you have kids and what do you and hubby do for a living?

Hello! I’m Roxy, a twenty six year old South African blogger, photographer, stationery store owner and teacher currently living in South Korea with my husband. We have been married for 2 and a half years and are currently teaching English in Korea, saving a little and traveling a lot. We have one fur baby, a very handsome Korean Jindo pup we rescued off the streets earlier last year.

2) Did you live together before getting married, and how do you think living together/not living together affected your life and marriage today?

We chose not to live together before we got married, even though we both moved abroad to Korea the first time after only dating for a few months. Once we had been together for a year we both knew that we wanted to get married and we knew that we would have a lifetime to live together in and so chose to keep that part of our future until after we were married.

3) What was the hardest thing about being married in the beginning?

For me it was coming to terms with the fact that I am not, and could never be perfect. When I got married, I thought that I had to be good at everything and that meant  being perfect at everything to do with my marriage and my home. It was so hard to realise that I was still the same person as I was before getting married. It took a long time for me to realise that my husband doesn't expect me to be perfect, because he loves me just the way I am and to him I am perfect. That feels nice.

4) What's something that's completely surprised you about marriage?

How utterly dependent I would become. I have always been a very independent person, happy to go off and do things by myself. I always got annoyed with friends who didn't want to do thing without their boyfriends, especially as I had no problem doing things by myself when Dale and I were dating. Oh how marriage has changed me! Now I would like nothing better than to have him beside me, every minute of the day, even holding my hand when I make tea. 
Also, as we were relatively young when we got married and didn't have many married friends, marriage had been made to seem like a this treaty you enter into and then your life kinda stops right there. It hasn't been like this at all for us! Itbeen an incredible adventure, filled with loads of laughs and ultimately a deeper friendship for the man I love.

5) If you have/will have kids, how do you think this changed/will change the dynamic of your marriage?

We have both always talked about having a big family and both hadn't really thought that we were ever not ready to be parents. Until we rescued a little puppy off the streets last year. Gosh are we ever NOT ready for kids! Having something else rely entirely on you for absolutely everything has been a massive adjustment in our lives. We are both quite active, early morning people. But having to be up at all hours to take a puppy outside to the bathroom in sub zero temperatures during winter was just so hard! And then dealing with a bundle of pent up energy if we haven’t had time to walk him leads to a house of chaos. Its been a crazy last couple of months, but the journey has been filled with laughter and joy. I guess no one ever feels ready for kids, right?

6) How do you and hubby keep the spark alive?

This is a tough one. We haven’t been married for very long and so are still figuring things out as we go along.  In the beginning everything is new, exciting and full of wonder as most things are. But as the months go on and you come down from your cloud and real life starts. You realise that marriage takes work, and it takes both of you. I find that the more I do for my husband, the more he does for me. And the more he does for me, the more I want to do for himits a happy circle that keeps on giving! Its important to find out what makes your partner feel loved. I have had to learn this, and it doesn't come easy to do things you may not enjoy. You do them for the other person because you love them and ultimately because you want them to feel always feel loved. For me it has been cooking, I really don’t enjoy cooking and find that if I am alone I’d rather eat cereal than cook myself dinner. But I've spent hours on Pinterest and am now armed with lots of creative ways of making cheap and easy meals that don’t take hours but are as yummy as they are healthy. For you it may be doing the dishes, waking up a little earlier to go with them to the gym or go outside for a run.  

7) What, in your opinion, are the three key essentials for a great marriage?

Trust, honesty and grace. I’m still working on the last one ;)

8) What's the best piece of advice you got for marriage? 

To never use the word ‘never’ or ‘always’ when arguing. Think about how much harder it is to hear ‘You never help me when I’m stressed’ than ‘Today I felt like you didn't help me when I was feeling stressed’. It changes things completely and really helps the other person understand why you’re upset.
Those small wise words have really stuck with me, and even though I sometimes forget and slip them in when I don’t mean them, they are important to bear in mind when heading towards an argument.

Share your dreams and goals with each other, make new dreams and goals and then fight to make those things come true. 
Laugh, laugh a lot.
Never stop trying new things together, whether its a new restaurant that serves something you've never tried before or a new hobby. Doing new things together is a wonderful way to keep learning about not just each other but yourselves too. 

Thank you so much Roxy for being a part of this series and for your wonderful insights! I don't know about anyone else, but I certainly relate to Roxy saying that she felt like she had to be perfect in the beginning! I don't know what it is but I think there's a standard that we woman hold ourselves to and we feel like we have to measure up to these invisible standards and it's so friggen exhausting! I'm definitely learning that D doesn't expect me to be perfect, and actually loves me because I'm not perfect! 

If you'd like to be a part of the Life of a Wife series, please contact me on - I'd love to have more insights on the wonderful adventure of marriage! :)

1 comment:

  1. Hi Amy! Thanks so much for featuring me on your blog :) xxx