Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Life of A Wife: Cassan Ferguson

I haven't done a post in this series in a while and I'm really excited to be featuring a really lovely lady who not only has a wonderful family, but who has also just recently left the security of a full time job to jump into the amazing world of owning her own business! I always get excited when I hear or see people starting their own businesses, especially women, and I really believe this amazing lady will take the world of drama by storm!

Cassan Ferguson has started her own drama studio, called React Drama and if you're keen to sign your kiddos up for drama classes, you would be silly to not get them to Cassan! I didn't know this, but drama is great for building confidence, vocal articulation, projection and expression and a whole of other skills in kids which I think is amazing! 

You can connect with Cassan on FacebookTwitterInstagram and on her blog - she recently wrote a genius blog post on pinned and tested activities for kids so if you're a mama bear looking to keep your kiddo occupied so you can get dinner sorted, get reading! :)

For now though, I present to you, Cassan's Life of A Wife:

1) Tell us a bit about yourself; who are you, how old are you, who are you married to and for how long, do you have kids and what do you and hubby do for a living?

My Name is Cassan Ferguson, and I’m 31 years old! I am a very passionate half Italian, Half Greek with a smidgen of Irish! I own my Drama Studio, “React Drama” that I just recently launched, which I am absolutely loving at the moment! I have been married to an amazingly talented man Rasheed Ferguson for nearly 7 years and he is a marketing and brand manager, as well an editor, designer, oh and a musician! We have a beautiful son, Malakai Jude Ferguson, who is 1 and a half years old!

2) Did you live together before getting married, and how do you think living together/not living together affected your life and marriage today?

I was 21 when I met Rasheed, and I was still a student living with my parents. Rasheed on the other hand moved out of home when he 19 and had been used to living independently.
For us we wanted to move in together once we were married. We wanted it to be a new and exciting experience for both of us! We wanted to arrive from honeymoon, and unpack all of our things together and decide how we wanted our married home to look like!
Which it was for us!

3) What was the hardest thing about being married in the beginning? 

What is challenging in general, is the fact that you have two VERY different people coming together under one home .
Also you realize very quickly that when you are upset you can’t just go home and not see them for a while; you're still in the same space! You have to learn how to bring these two very different worlds together, so that they can harmonize under one house hold, and function in a healthy manner

4) What's something that's completely surprised you about marriage?

I think what surprised me the most, is how fun married life can be! I used to have an opinion back in the day that 'once you get married, the two people blend into a creepy dull version of themselves and became “one”. For example, "Ah sorry we can’t go out, because we’re tired!” Ha! Which wasn’t the case for us, we were so determined to remain our individual selves, and still find the balance by being ourselves whilst being married! I love being married to Rasheed, after all these years (plus minus 10 years in total). I love that as we grow, we still haven’t lost who we are, we are best friends, we are lovers, creators, and crazy parents!

5) If you have/will have kids, how do you think this changed/will change the dynamic of your marriage?

Every couple is so different in how they experience/embrace having children. For us we wanted to be married for at least 5 years so that we could indulge in whatever we wanted to do exclusively, just us. We felt after five years that we were both ready to try for a baby, and we were both ready to embrace any change that came along with it! When we met our son, it was a no brainer how in love we were with him, and how committed we were to us, our marriage and to our little family of three! Yes ,we can’t be as spontaneous like we used, and yes, we are a little tired, and yes, we have to plan our lives a little more. But we wouldn't change anything for the world, we love our son, and we love each other! We are just more intentional with making sure we have “us time” to keep that love alive!

6) How do you and hubby keep the spark alive?

For me, I love laughing, I know it sounds strange! My husband knows how to make me laugh, (whether it be intentional or not) and I like to think that I make him laugh too! I love having fun with Rasheed, and just doing life with him in all areas! We love going on food dates, because we are such “foodies”, so we love dressing up, and enjoy going to restaurants that have awesome views, and delicious food!

7) What, in your opinion, are the three key essentials for a great marriage?

Speak the truth in love
Always encourage each other
Date each other
Surprise each other - had to throw in an extra one :)

8) What's the best piece of advice you got for marriage? 

Don’t fight with your spouse out of a need to protect/defend yourself because then your fights escalate and you never find resolve to the actual issue! Hear what they are truly saying before responding, affirm them when they are sharing and vice versa. Attack the problem, not each other.

9) What is your personal advice for newly married couples or couples who are about to get married?

Take time to really know your partner, know what makes them come alive, what their dreams are, be observant. Be apart of their personal growth, by encouraging them to pursue the things that they are passionate about. Find ways to always laugh and have fun together. Respect each other, never assume the worst, always see the best in each other, trust each other and stay committed to loving each other no matter the season! 

Thank you so much, Cassan, for your story! A big thing that stood out to me in her answers was "Attack the problem, not each other" - so incredibly true, and I find that often we get so consumed with being heard that we start attacking each other rather than the problem at hand. So insightful!

If you would like to be part of this series, please email me at amy.francis777@ - I would love to feature more wives and hear everyone's stories! 

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