Monday, September 2, 2013

GEMSQUASH: You're supposed to cut them in half!

I figured that it's time to let the world know exactly how bad I am at cooking. It's not even a gross exaggeration. It's bad. So bad, in fact, that I exploded gemsquash as well as our microwave. Which now doesn't even switch on. 

Duane had decided that he was cooking dinner that night, which I happily agreed to - any chance for me to not injure my almost husband, is a chance grabbed rather hastily. I can't even remember what he was making but one of the foods we were going to eat was gemsquash and he asked me to make them. He did ask whether or not I had previously made it to which I had said yes, which was the truth. I had made them before but I couldn't remember how. And I had previously seen my mom do them in the microwave so figured, how hard could it be? 

DISCLAIMER: Please be advised that science in school was NOT my strong point. In fact, I passed it at the end of Matric with the exact pass mark: 40%. I am not embarrassed at all by the mark, in fact, I'm rather proud that I passed it at all and have made peace with the fact that I actually don't care what it's called when you move but still stay in the same place. Inertia? I think.

Anyway, so I took the 2 gemsquash and pierced them rather vigorously numerous times. I knew that heat into a tight space (within the gemsquash) would make it explode so knew that I had to make place for the air to escape (See? Good thing I passed science with 40%). Hence the piercings. And in I stuck them into the microwave on one of those microwave steamer things. 

They started hissing after a while so I stopped it and pierced it more and stuck it back in. I then went to the lounge and was busy doing something on the floor when Duane walked past the microwave and just as he walked past it, it exploded. Like with a huge bang! Like a MASSIVE bang. Enough to think your fiance was injured.

Duane, needless to say, nearly jumped out of his skin whilst jumping almost a metre into the air. Not only had the gemsquash exploded IN the microwave, but the microwave itself exploded open as well! Our microwave was white. The inside was now yellow. Gemsquash had covered every single inch of the inside of the microwave, into the vent, into the door, into the nooks and crannies; everywhere! And it had exploded our microwave.

Me? I was in absolute hysterics! In fact, I can't help but giggle to myself now as I'm writing this. Duane's reaction was the funniest thing I had seen in a long time! He wasn't very impressed with me, considering I was laughing at his almost injury, but I had tears rolling down my cheeks anyway! I got up and asked if he was okay, you know, steaming hot gemsquash could do a fair amount of damage to someone's arm or something. And he was. Fine, I mean, not damaged.

I then tried to clean up the mess. Whilst laughing. Hysterically. I actually couldn't help it. Every time I looked at Duane, I killed myself laughing all over again. By the time I had wiped up an eighth of the gemsquash, the cloth was yellow. There was a lot of gemsquash.

Of course I couldn't figure out why it had exploded! I had pierced it sufficiently (in my mind at least) and it should've been fine. Turns out you have to CUT THEM IN HALF!! Seriously. And yes, you may shake your head at the fact that I didn't know that. But ya. You live and you learn :)

I now know that I will cut gemsquash in half in the future. And our microwave still doesn't work. We're in the process of buying a new one which I will hopefully not explode any time soon :)

So heads up for those who want a new microwave? DON'T CUT YOUR GEMSQUASH, it will explode your microwave and you will get/need a new one depending on how much your other half loves you and blames you :)

Easy peasy :) Although that really wasn't my plan in the first place - I promise! :)

Please tell me someone else out there has made a similar mistake before and that I'm not the only one out to injure my almost husband? :) Let me know!


No comments:

Post a Comment